Beginnings
by Mi Ling Chi
Summary: Post Canon: She ran away, finally free from a village that was slowly killing her. They tried to call her back, scared of the wrath of someone who would never return. Nevertheless, she was gone, on her own, and finally happy. Freed of who she was, she finds herself frozen when her past is staring her down again. Does he even remember her anymore? Does he even care?


Tear drops clung to her cheeks as she cast one last glance back at the small hut she had called home ever since he left her there. Her time in this village was up, she was done with it and it was time to move on to somewhere new, somewhere no one would know her for her.

She took a deep breath; she could do this. She had to do this. She took a few steps forward only to stop in her tracks, her breath coming out in short gasps of fear, dread, and longing as a her name was called out.

"Rin!"

She ran forward; she would not let them drag her back. Every time she tried to escape, she would be caught and scolded. They didn't want her to go out into the world, they did not want her away from their 'protection'. They knew if she left and he returned, he would most likely have their heads on silver platters. He wasn't coming back though, not that she had ever divulged that to them. They didn't really need to know. They were fearful people, they could stay fearful for all she cared, and anyways, even if she did tell them, they'd find other reasons to keep dragging her back. She would miss them yes, but she needed to move on. Her longing to run back into their trembling arms had to be forgotten.

Him, the one they feared returning and the one who would never return, Sesshomaru. Of all the people she was leaving behind to forge a new life, he would be the one she missed the most. He was her first love, he had once been her lord, and he would always be the man who first left her heart as a bloody, broken mess on a dirt road.

She had to move forward, casting out the thoughts and images of his silver hair, his indigo blue markings, those weird maroon stripes on his body. His cold words to her the day he left, they had to be forgotten too. She needed to erase them from her mind. He, the first person she spoke a word to after she had become mute, the one who brought her back from the dead, he had to stop existing in her world. They all had to stop existing, Kagome, Sango, Miroku, Inuyasha, Kaede, Shippo, Jaken, and Kohaku.

"Rin!"

No, she could not return to them. They're calls to her could no longer bring her home. That could no longer be her home. That was a living, breathing nightmare, not home really. She couldn't return to something that threatened to kill her, but not with fangs, claws or swords. It threatened her sanity with its' vile aura and brutal insults whispered through the village.

_Whore, slut, dirty, vile, wretched._

"Rin!"

She could hear her heart pounding in her ears. She could feel the sharp stones and sticks marring her feet, the scratchy leaves of bushes tearing up her legs.

_"She taints the air!"_

_"Make the whore leave!"_

_"She is too vile to look at; she'll burn your eyes."_

_"Don't look child, that tramp isn't worth the energy."_

_"She's a traitor. She sleeps with demons."_

Rin covered her ears with her hands like a child, trying to block out the insults she heard every time she had walked through the small village. She shut her eyes only to open them not a second later. The images of mothers grabbing their children and pulling them away from her, covering their eyes in the process, the looks of disgust the men would throw her along with the occasional piece of rotten fruit or stone picked up off the ground, and the sight of children throwing away their toys and hiding behind trees. The images made her tears turn from droplets to rivers.

_"I've never slept with a demon. For God's sake, I'm a virgin."_

The cries of her name could no longer be heard and the light of their torches could no longer be seen. She had done it; she had managed to escape the village, the nightmare she had been living in for the past seven years. She had freedom at last. Freedom to be someone else entirely, freedom to change her name, change her kimono, change her hair, change her spirit.

It hadn't been a complete nightmare she had to admit, and she would miss some things. Kaede had been there for her until her death. Inuyasha and Kagome had always treated her like a little sister, something she'd miss a little, Miroku and Sango had treated her like that as well. Kohaku had stopped by and would let her ride with him on Kirara too; though often shaking with fear of the other villager's beginning to hate them as well. They loved her, but when it came down to it, they chose what was best for them and their families which was turning their backs to her and leaving her to sink as the villager's tried to drag her under.

She stopped at some point when her legs felt like they would turn to jelly. She rested on a rock, catching her breath. She let the events of that night sink in as she stared at the crescent moon, for once not haunted by the thought of the indigo moon resting proudly on Sesshomaru's brow. It finally hit her with the full weight of this night's activities as she watched the wind blow through the tree leaves that she had finally done it. She was no longer captive to a village full of fearful, naïve idiots. She could finally dance when she wanted it, bathe when she wanted, sing when she wanted, love who she wanted, and live where she wanted.

She wanted to laugh and she did.

She wanted to sit naked under the ethereal light of the moon and she did.

She wanted to eat Ume raw and she did, though it took her a little to find it.

She wanted to lie in the river, fully dressed, with her eyes blissfully shut and she did.

When she had done what she had wanted to, she got on the nearest road and began heading in whatever direction that led her away from the village. The first village she passed through, she stopped at a kimono seller's stall and bought the first when she saw that would fit her along with an obi that purposely clashed with the color. She stopped at a fruit stall and bought a peach, not fearing being called a whore for it. When a man just a little older than her asked her name, she didn't reply Rin. Hanako was the name she gave him.

After leaving that first town, she passed through a battlefield. She stripped the haori off one of the fallen soldier's and made it into a sack used for storage, bowing respectfully to him before moving on. She also stripped the clothing off another soldier, tossing aside the fundoshi and wearing everything else. She bowed respectfully to this corpse as well. She picked up a katana and cut her hair short, leaving it hanging right around her shoulders.

She passed through many villages after that, never settling though. She would get a few odd looks on the road because she was obviously a woman in the clothes of a man but when she stepped into villages, she made sure to change. She might've been free of the people she had once known and, at one point, respected the opinions of but she really didn't feel like being criticized. She never carried around a weapon and when anyone would stop and harass her, she'd turn and run the other way.

Everything was good in her opinion. Only on a rare evening here and there would the thoughts of her old villagers and old life slip into her mind. She'd dream occasionally of stepping into her old village, years from then, and her old friends passing her by as she looked at a food seller's selection of peaches and rice. Perhaps one would even stop and say hello, asking if they knew her and she would reply no, they didn't. She'd give them the name Hanako instead of Rin as well. But those dreams hardly bothered her anymore. They were nothing anymore.

She walked into one village, more like a town actually, that was bustling with people, human and demon alike. She marveled a little at both species being civil to each other, many even openly friendly. Where she came from, no one was like that.

It was a nice change of pace, though it did bring back memories of her old life. She wondered how they treated half-demons like Inuyasha. She watched and didn't see any priestesses or monks and she wondered why she didn't see any. She wondered why this wasn't like every other village and wished that all the other villages were like this one.

She stayed here a while. She liked it. It felt so open, so free, so non-judgmental. She met new friends, new loves, and her new life really took off here. Her name spread throughout the town as the travelling girl with the bright smile named Hanako. She laughed, she loved, she learned.

Then she lost. Then the monks and the priestesses came, changing the peaceful nature. Then the bad demons came and they turned each species against each other.

Then she left.

She changed her name again, bought a new kimono and stripped the clothes off another soldier. She tied her hair up this time instead of cutting it shorter.

She walked the dirt paths, still being stared at for her odd appearance. Some people now had a hard time deciding what gender she was. Some thought she was male, some thought she was female. Whichever gender they thought she was, she never told them differently. Moreover, when they asked her name, she gave them Yasu.

This time she avoided staying in villages, even overnight. She would leave town just as dusk set in upon the land and set up camp for the evening in a nearby forest. This time she carried a weapon as well. She trusted no one, befriended no one, and she didn't think of her days as Hanako or as Rin.

It was a summer day, a very calm and hot summer day. Actually, it was too calm. She was wary of it instantly. Something was going to happen; she felt it. In addition, when it did, she had a new name in mind, Akane, and a new identity ready to mold.

However, she never used that name. No, when the thing went down, she didn't even come out Yasu again. She came out Rin.

She was travelling in a forest this time, opting for this over the road because of the sun beating down overhead. At least this gave her shade, something she couldn't say for the road.

She wasn't really thinking as she was travelling. There wasn't really anything to think about. When she did think, she certainly didn't think of her past. In her head, she made comments about the birds flitting about or the beautiful flowers. That, or she thought up new personas for her to adopt once she was through with other personas.

Around noon, she found herself wiping sweat off her brow and scratching her hair even though she was under the cool shade of the trees. Deciding that continuing on in this heat would be detrimental to her health, she eased herself onto the ground. She pulled a peach out of her bag, biting into the soft flesh of the fruit as she watched a bird fly overhead. She smiled softly, chewing slowly while wondering what it would be like to be a bird. It would probably be easier than her own life. Birds didn't even remember their pasts, did they?

She ate, she napped, and when she woke, the sun was lower in the sky, the heat slowly dissipating. She pushed herself up. She'd cover as much ground as she could before night fell, no need to be lazy while the sun was still out.

Time passed, the sun fell, and nothing seemed too off. Maybe she had just been extra paranoid earlier. Still, she couldn't make herself calm down. The air hummed with something, power maybe, or perhaps it was just the heat.

She shouldered her bag and continued with her hike. At times, she had to duck under tree branches or push them away. She didn't know why it hadn't registered with her before today but she had grown taller since she left her original village. The trees were short, yes, but when she left the original village as an innocent fifteen year old, she was shorter.

It was dusk, and she was ready to settle down for the evening. It was still warm and though she knew she would light a fire, she still thought the idea of sitting near the fire and it's radiating heat in the sweltering summer air didn't sound fun. She still had to see, even at the cost of comfort. It was time to find a place that would do for the evening, though she didn't see one in sight.

She kept walking, looking for a place that wasn't covered in pine needles and twigs but still covered by the trees. Perhaps this was the bad thing that would happen to her today. To say the least, it was underwhelming.

Night had risen by now, only the light of the crescent moon to guide her way. It appeared she would be left blind in the darkness, unaware of anything happening about her. She could deal with that but she didn't really want to. She didn't really want to sleep on a ton of twigs either but she couldn't have everything she wanted.

That's when she heard it. That annoying, squeaky voice that grated her ears, almost making them bleed, and certainly wanting to claw out the voice box of the creature making the sounds. That voice that haunted her nightmares of the years when she was Rin. That voice, oh so familiar, from her childhood that would constantly berate her, calling her a stupid human child who was idiotically oblivious.

It was Jaken. The little toad demon that followed Sesshomaru, which meant he was nearby, the man who broke her heart, the man who was the first to leave her to sink.

She was trembling. By now, he had to have smelled her, though whether or not he recognized her for her, she knew not. He probably, _hopefully_, didn't remember her scent. Even if he didn't recognize her, he knew she was there and who know what he would do. He could leave her alone for all she knew or he might be waiting for her own reaction to chase her down and quickly dispatch of her without asking any questions, her blood staining his claws.

Her right foot slipped backwards, then her left, and then her right again. She was about to turn tail and flee entirely, hoping she made it out alive. However, she stopped. She didn't turn tail and flee as Jaken's aggravating voice reached her ears.

"…Annoying human, thinking that it can sneak up on the great lord Sesshomaru! Milord, I would highly recommend once it sneaks up behind one of the trees or does whatever a human does best, you slay it instantly. Make it a bloody mess, I beg of you milord."

Her heartbeat was loud in her ear, faster now that she felt almost certain death would come. Even if Jaken was annoying and Sesshomaru normally only listened with half an ear, he was still extremely intelligent and knew better than to let anyone spy on him. He'd kill her for sure. She felt ready to collapse under the weight of her assured death.

"No." His voice was cold and bored. "It's retreating."

"Well than it must've gathered whatever info was important to it. Perhaps the humans have created something to destroy you. They've done it before to other demons; they're very treacherous creatures you know."

"Why would humans send a female to spy on me? Their race is known for being blinded by gender."

"They've done it before, milord!" She wondered dryly for a moment why Jaken wanted her dead so much. She didn't remembered him being nearly as bad when she had been a child..

"It does not matter. It's just a silly human woman who was probably stupid to know better and wondered off into the woods. Her husband will probably find her soon and drag her back home. If she really approaches us, I'll deal with it," Sesshomaru sharply, ending the discussion without giving Jaken the time to argue.

She could turn back, probably the best thing for her to do right now. Alternatively, she could keep going. Maybe if they saw her face, they'd recognize her and not kill, or at the very least, let her on her without turning her into minced meat.

The smarter woman would turn and run, but she was not the smarter woman in this case, and chose to move forward. She was more impulsive, more trusting, more positive, more determined than she probably should've been.

She walked quite a bit to the right, hoping that by avoiding whatever little camp they had made wouldn't trigger Sesshomaru into attacking.

She didn't run into their camp when she passed far to the right, but that didn't mean that Jaken didn't come running out of the bushes, his Staff of Two Heads in hand, pointed at her. Flame burst out of one of the heads only a second later. Having seen him do this many times before, she managed to mostly dodge it, only being singed a little.

Quickly she took off her haori and threw it on the ground, stamping out the fire. She sighed with relief when the fire was out, then turned to look at Jaken, noticing the fact when he had the chance, he didn't set her on fire.

His yellow eyes were bigger than normal; something she thought had to be impossible. He appeared frozen in place. She froze in place as well, wondering if he recognized her for the child used to watch over. He hadn't seen her even when she was fifteen, how could he recognize her as a nineteen year old?

"How are you a woman?"

Alternatively, he was frozen in place over the fact she was a woman dressed obviously in clothing made for a man. Great, it was this again.

"Because I was born without a penis?" She replied humorously. She obviously had no qualms with openly showing her irritation at the stupid question.

He gawked at her open reference to sexual organs. She arched an eyebrow at this, confused in this matter. Humans had no reservations about taking a shit in front of a group of kids and using it as manure, nor did adults have any issues with openly talking of pillowing. Why Jaken, a demon, a race that always appeared in her eyes even more open about sexuality and the dirty parts of life, was gawking over the word penis, she knew not. Had he been like that when she was a child?

"What type of woman would say something like that?"

"Do you have a problem with me being a woman?" She was ready to step on the small toad demon. She remembered that was what Sesshomaru always did when he wanted Jaken to shut up. It had always worked in the past.

"W-w-w-well no, of c-c-course not!"

She shook her head at the blatant lie. Really, how pleasant it would be to think of her childhood now knowing Jaken had not only resented her because of her race but because of her gender. Stupid toad.

"Do not look at me like that human! I do not hate women, I just hate you!"

"And what did I do to you! Walk to your right? Refuse to burn to death? Have me scent enter you nostrils?"

"That is not the issue here," he huffed. "What information are you taking back to your master to help hasten your plot of my master's demise?"

"What?" She was honestly confused. Did he have to use so many words to ask her whether she was a spy? "For the record, I was just passing through, hoping not to be beheaded or _burnt_ to death by demons. I'm not a spy, I work for no one, I have no loyalty."

He gaped at her. What was with this idiot today? She remembered her being a little easy to surprise and kind of quick to jump to conclusions that normally ended up with him trying to get out of sticky situations but this was just ridiculous.

When he said nothing, still too stunned to do anything but gape at her, she decided for her own welfare, it would be best to move this along.

"Look, you should just return to your lord or whatever and tell him what I told you. Everyone gets off happily, with our lives might I add, and we both never have to see each other again. How does that sound?"

Suddenly quick to snap from his stupor, Jaken replied sharply.

"Well you should apologize to my lord for causing the trouble that you've caused tonight and prey to whatever god you know will listen, that he'll forgive you and believe you're not a spy. We wouldn't be so worried about you being a spy if you didn't act like one, trying to approach sneakily and then trying to avoid being caught."

"Um, I heard voices so I decided to veer to the right so that I didn't disturb whoever it was. What's with acting like the most complicated and least likely reason to do something is the real reason?" She was done with this now. It was obvious that no matter what she said and did, Jaken wouldn't recognize her as Rin which meant there really was no reason to stick around. If he recognized her as Rin, he'd probably patronize her like there was no tomorrow and since he didn't, he would just pointlessly go in circles with her over the smallest of details.

"Well," he groped for something else to argue with her over. Was Sesshomaru not paying him enough attention anymore or something? "Well, you aren't afraid of me even though I'm a demon."

That. No matter how many personas she went through, instinct would be her greatest down fall. Humans, by instinct themselves, were scared of demons. Some overcame it, and some were just messed up enough in the head to where their instinct was to fear humans, their own species, over demons. She would always fall into the latter rather than the former.

She swallowed, fumbling for a way to snap back at him.

"So? You're a demon, I'm a human, and guess what, it doesn't matter!"

Jaken seemed at a loss now. She bent over to pick up the charred haori, examining it to see if she could still use it or if it would just be another thing to toss a side and get a new one of. The sleeve was burnt but it could make do for a couple days until she got to the next town. It wasn't necessary that she strip one off the corpse of a fallen samurai.

Pulling it on and making sure it was on right, she didn't notice the tall figure slipping out of the trees. Once she was done with her task, she noticed Jaken bowing, almost groveling if he wasn't already. She turned her head a little and noticed the familiar silver hair, the indigo crescent moon on his brow, the maroon stripes. Great, she couldn't get away without having to confront him, could she?

An awkward silence permeated the air, she being too nervous at the presence of Sesshomaru, and the fact Sesshomaru obviously didn't recognize her as Rin. Great, he was glaring at her to! She was about to die, that was almost guaranteed.

"Your name and your purpose," he demanded. Not feeling like fighting, perhaps out of nervousness over her impending death or maybe a habit still festering deep inside of her from her childhood, she gave in.

"My name is R-Yasu." Close one. "And I was just passing through. I was looking for a place to set up camp for the evening and everything around here seemed too flammable. I went to the right so that I didn't disturb you."

"Milord, I assure you she is lying! Filthy human wenches like herself, they never tell the truth."

"Jaken, her story matches the one she gave you. I have no reason to believe that she is lying, she does not smell like she is lying, she does not look like she is lying, and she does not act like she is lying."

He paused, turning his gaze that he had turned to Jaken back to her.

"You may have our camp, we don't need it."

Her jaw dropped. She was going to survive? Man, he must've been in a very generous mood seeing as not only did her spare her but he also gave her a place to rest. That was amazing.

"Thank you!" She would've hugged him if she'd still been Rin. Instead, she bowed politely, showing her gratitude in a very non-intrusive manner.

"You're welcome, Rin."

She froze. He knew who she was?! Then why the hell had he been leading her on this entire time acting like he was meeting her for the first time even down to asking her name. It probably didn't help that she had almost said Rin, out of habit since he knew her as Rin and had probably been one of the biggest people in her life from age eight to thirteen. Of course, he never knew of that crush at age thirteen but whatever.

"That thing is Rin?!" Jaken screeched.

He glared at Jaken, then looked to her, without words demanding an explanation. He didn't need confirmation really, her freezing up, her being nervous, that already gave him the confirmation he needed. She was indeed Rin, but why she was out here, dressed as a male and giving him the name Yasu, he wanted to know.

"Uh, well…"

"I'd heard of the debacle in the village, all of them actually, of you trying to run away and then you finally managing."

"Well, um, the villagers were very mean."

"They called you a whore."

"How did you know?" she asked.

"Inuyasha."

"Well, you already heard about how the villagers acted and there really was no point in me staying. It's not like I could really do what I wanted you know. So, I ran away. Just wanted to do what I wanted."

He nodded.

"Um, Sesshomaru, how did you know I was Rin?" He fixed her was a pointed glare, angry at the use of his name so informally. Jaken was glaring too but she paid him little heed.

"Your scent, your nervousness, your lack of fear."

She grinned, more comfortable.

"Well that's me for sure. You aren't going to drag me back to the village are you?" she asked honestly.

"No. Your path is your own." They looked each other in the eye, brown meeting gold. "Yasu does not fit you."

That was all he said before turning, disappearing into the shadows again and walking out of her life once more. Jaken continued to stare at her, tripping over his own feet because his gaze was pointed behind him rather than where he was heading. She gave a small wave, not frightened that there would be any consequences to it. He wasn't dragging her back to the hellhole she escaped from, and she wasn't going to die at his hands. It seemed like she got off easy, perhaps even with a weight lifted off her shoulders at the more mutual goodbye between her and her former lord.

Whatever it was, she was content with it, and her heart beat just a little faster as she walked to the camp that would be hers for the evening.

She reached the camp quickly, setting to work on returning the dying ember in the wood back to its former glory. She paid no mindfulness to the sound of a twig snapping under weight of something. She just sat back from the fire she kick-started back to life.

"Rin."

She looked back up to the man she had thought she had just said goodbye to for the last time. What was with this guy and making sure every goodbye he said was on his own terms and was totally unsatisfying to the recipient?

"Yes Sesshomaru?"

"I apologize for Jaken's foolishness."

Sesshomaru apologizing. That was it, she was going to die. Or maybe the whole world was going to die. Sesshomaru apologizing had to be the sign of the apocalypse. Seriously, it had to.

"That's okay." She laughed nervously. Oh, what was going to happen to her now? Was he going to carve her up and eat her? Pluck out her eyes and eat them? She was ready to run like the wind if he took a step closer.

He took a step closer and eased himself onto the ground. What? Was Sesshomaru about to make small talk with her?

"So, Sesshomaru, was there something you needed? Anything I can do for you?"

Sesshomaru seemed transfixed with the fire lapping at logs and twigs. She wondered what he saw and looked at the fire, seeing nothing special herself.

"Rin, why have you stopped calling me lord Sesshomaru?" he asked after a long pause.

She arched one black eyebrow, mouth open slightly. He came back here to ask her that?

"Because you're not my lord anymore?"

"Who is?"

"No one actually. I just wander, kind of like what you do except I don't have an annoying toad following me around." She laughed awkwardly, scratching the back of her head, eyes shut. She opened them again, the jovial smile fading from her face. "Sesshomaru, why are you here. I thought you told me you weren't returning."

There was an elongated pause.

"I never returned. You left."

She chuckled darkly.

"Guess you're right. And I guess you'd have to admit the girl you left all those years ago, breaking her young heart, isn't the same one you're talking to right now."

"Yes. The girl I met was named Rin, not _Yasu_." His eyes met hers with what seemed to be a glint of humor, though that had to be impossible. Sesshomaru probably didn't know the definition of the word joke let alone how to make one.

"You really have it in for that name, don't you?"

He didn't answer her, his gaze instead, returning to the fire. She shook her head, knowing that he was too proud to admit he could care about something so small and pointless. She sighed at the thought, also noting the child settling in the air. Great, such a hot day seemed to be turning into a very cold evening. She scooted closer to the fire, and a little to her left, closer to Sesshomaru. Chilly as his personality was, he did radiate body heat.

"Sesshomaru, did you just come back here to apologize for Jaken trying to burn me alive or was there something else you need?" she asked after a long silence. She lifted her brown eyes from the fire to look at him, noticing that he was focused on the fire as well. Her eyes returned to the fire as shivered once more.

"No," he said after another gap of silence.

"Care to expand?" she asked, not wanting to wait for my silence.

He didn't expand though, just left her hanging in silence.

As the night continued on, the fire burning and smoking, the air continued to chill. Rin pulled her knees up to her chest, rested her chin on her knees as she wrapped her arms around them. Even with that, shivers ran up and down her spine, her teeth chattering as she trembled. How had the temperature changed so much? It was definitely good she had found a fire or she'd be sitting, huddled against a tree while trying to keep her fingers and toes from going completely numb and falling off. Also, lucky for her, though she didn't really understand it, she had a nice, warm, male body to continue to scoot closer and closer to, soaking up the heat he exuded. She was certain he was aware by now of her proximity but he didn't say anything or push her away.

The moon was at its peak in the sky when she finally rested her head against his shoulder, clustered into his side. He still didn't push her away, though probably out of remembrance for the fact that when humans got cold, they were even less fun to be around. On the other hand, maybe it was because he could feel the violent shakes ravaging her body and he could hear the loud clacks her teeth made as they hit each other.

Even with being crowded against his side, she still shook violently. She could now see her breath in the form of a white cloud as it escaped her lips, slightly fascinating at first and then downright scary because of the temperature drop it indicated.

Finally, Sesshomaru wrapped an arm around her, pulling her as tight as he possibly could against his metal armor.

"I th-think it m-m-m-might help if you take off your armor. Th-the me-metal is v-very cold."

He sighed, unwrapping his arm from her shoulders and standing up. He quickly discarded his armor to the side as she watched with hungry, almost ravenous, eyes. She was curled up as tightly as she could be, though his chest was looking awfully good to curl up against.

He sat back down and she was instantly glued to him like a piece of metal to a magnet. He wrapped his arm around her again, hugging her as tightly as he could. She was still cold but it felt a little better now that she had his body warmth.

"Don't you carry blankets with you?"

"N-no, not really. I never thought about carrying them with me. I have other sets of clothes but−"

"Then you should put those over the ones you wear now. Where's your bag?"

Gloomily, she pointed him to the makeshift bag tucked away beside a log. He got up again, leaving her curled up in a tight ball on the ground, watching him through half-shut eyes. When he returned to her, expectantly watching her, silently telling her to get up, she glared at him. She didn't want get up and lose the warmer position. Nevertheless, she begrudgingly gave in, standing slowly on shaky legs while he pulled out the two kimonos she kept with her and returned the makeshift bag to its original state as a haori, something she had forgotten about. She slipped on the kimonos and then the extra haori, feeling like she was suffocating in fabric. At least she was warmer now.

She still curled up into a ball, leaning against his unarmored side. He still wrapped an arm around her and pulled her tighter. They continued to watch the fire lick at the wood sustaining it until, near dawn, Rin's eyes finally slid shut and her breathing evened out, her heartbeat slowing down slightly. She'd fallen asleep after spending the evening shivering and cuddling.

When she awoke, he wasn't there. She wasn't surprised.

It was warming up by the time she awoke. She stripped off all the extra fabric, stripping of her normal haori too and turning it into the bag she stuffed her extra kimonos in, and put on the one that use to be her bag. She quickly killed the fire and set off again, noting that this day would be just as sweltering as the one that came before.

That evening, when she settled down again, her teeth clattering once more, he came for a second time, holding her and warming her up. They did this every evening, even when it wasn't cold out in the evening. When it was a mild evening or, god forbid, a warm one, they would sit around the fire, not cuddling for warmth, just staring at the flame until it lolled Rin to sleep.

She was fed up with it. She was sick of the silence, sick of the tradition they'd started. Tonight, she would at least coax him into conversation.

She sat, staring into the fire, her eyes flicking around, trying to catch him stepping out of the tree line. It didn't take him long. She assumed that he waiting until Jaken fell asleep before coming to her. She didn't know why she though that, it wasn't as if Sesshomaru cared what Jaken though about him.

When he eased himself onto the ground, she instantly launched into her plan.

"Sesshomaru, why are you here?"

His golden eyes, filled with annoyance, flicked to her. He didn't answer her though.

"Sesshomaru, what do you think you're going to get if you keep coming here?"

His golden eyes narrowed into a glare. Still, he didn't answer her.

"Sesshomaru, are you obsessed with me?" She scooted closer to him.

"Why would I be obsessed with a human?"

Victory.

"If you don't like humans so much, why do you keep coming here and spending your evenings with me?"

"You're not like you race."

"Then are you obsessed with me?" She scooted closer again, though she wasn't cold. If she was right in his face, he wouldn't be able to deny she was talking to him, right? She was certain he wouldn't kill her by now, he'd be bored or something like along those lines.

"No," he said, attempting to end the conversation. She wasn't going to let him do that though.

"Sesshomaru, if you aren't obsessed with me, then why do you keep coming to me? You come every evening without fail."

"What do you want in exchange for shutting up?" he asked. "Are you cold? Are you lonely?"

"I want a conversation. You're here every evening and I don't know what's gone on with you since you left me behind when I was thirteen."

"Anything else you want?"

"No not really." She paused, only a few feet away from him. "Well, I think I could shut up if I saw you do something 'below' you."

He looked at the fire, obviously contemplating whether doing something below him was worth getting her to shut up. She was surprised that he was contemplating it. She had said that humorously in passing, not really giving it much thought.

"What do you want?"

She wanted to burst out into laughter. He really wanted her to shut up that badly? She knew Sesshomaru wasn't big on talking but was he really so not into it he would do something that, under normal circumstances, he would internally gag at?

"Kiss me," she said with a smirk. She didn't expect him to do what she asked. She was sure in for a surprise.

He leaned in, capturing her lips in a kiss. Her eyes widened to impossible widths while his slid shut. He pulled away after only a few seconds, though it felt much longer than that to her. The taste of his lips lingered on her own, making her smile hazily, though only momentarily before wiping it off. She was still ecstatic within but the look on Sesshomaru's face told her that he didn't want to see it.

"Now will you hold to your end of the deal?"

She didn't reply, still too blissful to form any thoughts of substance.

Sesshomaru had kissed her.

When he wasn't looking, Rin broke into a giant grin again. He had kissed her. Her first love had kissed her. She looked towards him again, still grinning like an idiot, not even bothered by the fact he was paying her no heed.

He had kissed her, and even if was just to shut her up, he hadn't hesitated to do it. Maybe, just maybe, this was a new beginning between them.

She could only hope it was.

* * *

If you've read a certain one-shot I did a while back called Selfish, then that's probably what gave you a little deja vu. This was a rewrite really that turned a very cheesy, ooc, short one-shot into something I could be proud of. Selfish never topped a thousand word, 964 or something, while this topped six thousand. And this is much better than Selfish, at least in my personal opinion, and a lot different. That's why Selfish is still up. I'm not proud of Selfish, I think it's stupid, but I left it up as a testament to my improvement as a writer.

Hope you enjoyed. Please drop a review, this thing has been just eating up chunks of my time that should've been spent on other things. So please, I'm begging, please review.

Now I'm going to exercise and forget that I have other stuff to write. Namely Rain, Shashin Hanayome, LRR, Rumors, Haunted Memories, etc.


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